Saturday, October 2, 2010

Shoot me now.... I joined Jenny Craig

Let me say a few things first:

1) I was on Jenny Craig about 15 years ago after battling my weight (and depression) unsuccessfully for 11 years (at that time). So I'm familiar with what it is and what it isn't. What it isn't is a system that teaches you how to eat properly. What it IS is a system that does all the work for you and near the end (during transition) gives you a little information on how to maintain what you're doing. Actually, they do what Weight Watchers starts out doing (teaching you how to eat) on a much smaller scale. But for people like me who actually KNOW how to eat and have studied it for years on end, but whose life has spiraled out of control--it's a fast fix to get you back to portion control, schedule and a varied diet.

2) I have no delusions that this will be healthy food. Sound ironic? Yeah... it's pretty ironic. But losing weight is predominantly about caloric intake and they nail that. I'm sure they've lined up the number of fats and proteins a certain way; but the food is mass pre-packaged and therefore FULL of crap we never eat. In fact, if you are dairy or corn allergic you cannot do Jenny Craig. Period. It's their own policy. Because you have to buy and eat THEIR food. If you want to learn how to balance the foods that you want to eat of your own free will, go to Weight Watchers.

3) Because Jenny Craig doesn't force you to really learn much, it's a lot quicker to lose weight than with Weight Watchers. Of course, because you're not learning much, what do you think the odds are of regaining?

4) About 7 years after I went on Jenny Craig, I was diagnosed with an insulin disorder (hyperinsulinism) that had been previously missed and misdiagnosed for 17 years. This was the source of both my weight gain, depression and (in the last few years before diagnosis--when I was extremely insulin-resistant) debilitating fatigue. Controlling my insulin levels fixed those things and made it possible for me to quit gaining.

I'm mentally in a place where I'm just not coping with anything well. I have about 50 lbs. to lose. Earlier this week I weighed in at 189 lbs. and I shouldn't be more than 140lbs. for my height to be at a BMI that doesn't register as "obese" (which affects getting life insurance, btw).

I've been on the Jenny Craig food for almost a week and so help me God, I'm not sure how long I can do this. I FEEL unhealthy. It's a lot of cheese and sugars. And if I go in on Monday night and they can't replace the sugar items, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I might actually just go another week and then see how they're going to deal with me being away before giving in. I guess it will also depend on how much weight I lose this week.

I don't think Jenny Craig is a healthy system when you look at the ingredients you are eating. I don't think lots of corn syrup, soy and preservatives are good for you. That's my own opinion. But I also think being overweight is extremely unhealthy... physically AND emotionally (for some). I just need help and I need it fast and I'm simultaneously trying to work through the losses of the last year--which are REALLY hard. We'll see how it goes.

I will continue to keep the blog because I'm also finding that in the last week, I have been motivated to do some of the cooking for my family. Weird. I KNEW I should've seen a shrink about that sudden aversion. I'm now wondering if it was connected to feeding myself and not feeling like I was worth it. :( But I missed our CSA pickup yesterday and went to Whole Foods this morning to shop for stuff we needed. And I spoke to Mike about how we eat. One thing I DEFINITELY learned in this last week is that we're NOT eating the variety or balance of foods we should be eating--that's for sure. I knew we were light on veggies, but...

Restrictive diet is really no excuse. It's work to learn how to do it, but it can (and should, and will) be done.

And then we'll tackle the budgeting of it.

Oh... and portion control. Mike is heavy, too. When I see the portion sizes of the main course of the Jenny Craig meals and what they tell you to add from your own kitchen to bulk it up, I get SO ANGRY that we haven't been doing that. And then I think of how much money it would save and I get even angrier. Blech...

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